Monday, December 14, 2009

No Fair!

This is Cassidy telling me that the next time I run off to have fun at the Cape for the weekend, I better bring her, too.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


So this is the last week of classes, before final exam week. This means that all of my beloved classmates have the deer-in-the-headlight look, aren't sleeping enough and are displaying signs of mood disorders.

It's really wonderful.

We're all just barely above the water - we all have final projects, which means final standing up in front of the class and discussing our brilliant thoughts about important things. The problem is that the people in the class are really smart - and will ask questions and have opinions that they will share. Outloud.

But this feeling of solidarity - we're all in this together spirit - is just so wonderful. I've had a number of misty-eyed moments this week, as people are checking in, cheerleading, offering salty-sweet-fatty snacks and diet coke's. There've been hugs, motivating comments on facebook walls, late night chats and e-mail check-ins. We're meeting on campus, working quietly in rooms together - just to share the experience with the only others who get it.

I didn't have the opportunity to go away to college just after high school -I'm a forty-something grad student having the college experience for the first time and, painful as it is, loving every moment. I'm doing my best to savor all of it - good and bad - and knowing that it will end far too soon. I'm tired, elated, near tears, sore, intimidated, confident, scared and feeling very, very blessed.

And I know a lot of stuff. Ask me anything.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Wow - Tiger.

I don't know why this train wreck keeps my attention, but there it is.

What is it about folks that maintain this outward image, but then act in ways contrary to what they want people to believe?

Good thing I'm not like that.

Well, I suppose if I was being perfectly honest, I would admit that when I appear very confident and know I am completely correct, I don't really believe it 100%. Or when I seem angry it's really that I'm afraid or unsure or lost. Or when I shrug and say that's o.k., I really want to say it's not, but don't want to hurt someone's feelings. But even with all that stuff, I can still look at myself in the mirror most days.

Tiger has more talent than most people could ever wish for, and has done a great deal of good with his incredible wealth. He's also hurt and disappointed more people that most of us could ever come close to and no amount of talent or money can make that o.k. His kids will, before too long, be old enough to look up all this junk on the internet and find out this stuff about their father. He can't take that back.

So I guess I want to remember that sometimes there are things we can do or say that we can never take back. Some of those things are no big deal, but others are huge. I'm reminding myself to make sure the things I say or do that I can't take back are things I'm proud of or things that make others know they're loved or safe or special.

I'm working on it anyway.