tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22272910246110539012024-03-13T17:02:37.381-04:00Doing O.k. In Spite Of MyselfLisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-44504597351369854502011-10-01T11:12:00.006-04:002011-10-02T09:55:10.980-04:00Lame and Flying in CirclesA few weeks ago, Jeff and I were taking a walk on the Brewster Flats and came upon a seagull with a really broken wing. The gull didn't seem to be in pain but it was dramatic and painful for me to look at. I wondered how long it had been since it was injured and how it would survive, since it clearly couldn't fly or dive into the water to fish. Still, it looked healthy and was moving along the beach pretty much o.k. in spite of the broken part.<br /><br />Around the same time, Jeff decided to take a job that has him living away from home during his work week. We're not used to being apart and things don't feel quite right for either of us. It's made me feel a little like a part of me is broken, too. I feel wounded and am in a bit of pain. I feel like I can't quite fly straight and have to figure out different ways to make my way through.<br /><br />I've been telling myself that it's good to be more independent - that I should learn how to drive the lawnmower and it's ridiculous that I can't manage myself when there's a mouse in the house. I should not just walk aimlessly around the house with no sense of direction or purpose. So I'm trying to learn all that ~ to take care of things and act normal. It's not easy.<br /><br />Here's the upside: all this unsettledness has shown me how completely confident I am in our life. That no matter where we live, together or apart, Jeff and I are in this together. It's <span style="font-style: italic;">good</span> that it feels bad. After a week apart, I was as excited as a 16 year old getting off the ferry where he was waiting to pick me up. My heart sank a little when I left him on the dock and said goodbye the next morning. The hello kisses are wonderful and the goodbye hugs heartbreaking. It's magnificent. A blessing most people don't get.<br /><br />I am hopeful for the seagull. That it will survive and have a mostly normal life. That it's unbroken parts will be stronger and it will have talent and confidence that the other, intact seagulls don't have. <br /><br />I am hopeful for me, too. <br /><br />Though not planning lawn mower lessons anytime soon. I can only be <span style="font-style: italic;">so</span> independent.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-31361861206069389382010-04-29T16:39:00.003-04:002010-04-29T16:44:29.844-04:00Sprint To The FinishOMG - Graduation is two weeks away. Need to finish 3 papers, revise my final research paper and turn it into a powerpoint presentation worth sitting through, pick up cap & gown, go on seventeen or eighteen more job interviews and say farewell to my brilliant classmates.<br /><br />Won't be coming up for air until then, but if anyone wants to send good energy and brainpower (not to mention snacks) this way, I'd be grateful. I promise to pay attention to my family, friendships (and housework) as soon as I can. I will also have lots to blog about, I'm sure.<br /><br />Talk to you again soon.<br /><br />Love, LisLisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-41229080549536135812010-04-07T13:49:00.003-04:002010-04-07T14:07:54.545-04:00It's All In The FramingSo - yes, much too busy to talk to you people in the last weeks/months (how long has it been?)<br /><br />Just actually got a homework assignment done before class, which doesn't always happen, and it made me think of this blog. <br /><br />The assignment had to do with reading the entire, yes <span style="font-style: italic;">entire </span>National Broadband Plan and do an analysis of the framing - like how does it explain why this stuff is important. Through my lens it was all about equality and inclusion and civic engagement. To my very geeky friend, it was about spectrum and platforms and applications.<br /><br />I also heard an <a href="http://www.wamc.org/prog-roundtable.html">interview</a> today with Captain Richard Phillips, who was the captain of the boat that was hijacked last year by the Somali pirates and who bravely gave himself over to the pirates to protect his crew. At the end of the interview he made a point of saying that he believes that all people are much more capable than they believe themselves to be and it's just a few who get put into extraordinary situations to prove it. He said people should believe more in themselves and trust that they can overcome personal or professional challenges.<br /><br />Also got to school and found a copy of my graduation eligibility form that was signed off by the director of my<a href="http://www.masspolicy.org"> program</a> making it truly certified that I will be graduating next month. I hadn't quite recognized that for real.<br /><br />The framing point is about how I'm choosing to label all the ups and downs of my life these days. Busy means accomplishing, stress means opportunity, overwhelmed means striving. <br /><br />So today is proving to be an inspiring day.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-76295933724136201482010-02-10T19:44:00.002-05:002010-02-10T19:59:20.729-05:00Almost cut my hairWell, actually, I did cut my hair. Not radically or anything, but it had really been since last summer and since I've been all academic and unemployed these past months, I've had no inclination to be pretty or anything, since I'm so smart and unemployed. So the hair was kinda unruly.<br /><br />I had told myself that I should keep growing it, then donate it to Locks of Love or Pantene Beautiful Lengths. I thought about it a lot, really. I could do so much good by just growing hair. Just ten or so inches, which I have to give, would mean something wonderful to a sick child or woman battling cancer.<br /><br />The truth is that in the end, I'm much too vain. Can I possibly be all about the hair? <br /><br />I have no trouble making fun of the challenges that supermodels have in life, and I didn't join in the sport of making fun of Hillary's pantsuits. I'm all about substance - that style thing is superficial. Still, I just can't quite bring myself to give up this one physical attribute I have. I don't trust that I can rely on my brain and wit to get me through. If I have homely hair, I can't possibly be successful. Even if it meant that a small sacrifice can do good for others.<br /><br />Really, it's only hair. Right?<br /><br />Don't get me started on Jeff's hair.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-87754573243153622222010-01-30T18:29:00.002-05:002010-01-30T18:46:45.683-05:00Job SkillsJust took an online typing test and found, after three tries, I can type 75 words a minute. I'm actually old enough to remember when that was an important number to know.<br /><br />I was compelled to find out my number because I applied for a federal job online and it said I couldn't finish the online application if I couldn't type more than 40 words per minute. I was thinking that if it was an online application, it could be equipped to measure that while it's being completed. I also found an error in their online questionnaire and tried to write to someone to let them know, explaining in detail how it might impact their ability to identify high-quality candidates for the position. I actually wrote to three different people, appropriately following their directions to use the proper link in case I had questions or comments about the online application process.<br /><br />They were more concerned with my typing skills than they were my "critical thinking" and "attention to detail" skills...<br /><br />I also had an exchange with the nice woman from the unemployment office (no - "career center") who e-mailed me to mention that I hadn't stopped in to use their service and could they help? So I sent a smartass reply that explained that I worked for the last 18 years as a hiring manager and was about to get a Master's degree, have excellent research abilities and can't imagine that this office knows something I don't about job searches. Then I called the next day to apologize for being a smartass, chatted with her for a while and she invited me to consider attending the Professional Networking sessions they have on Tuesday afternoons. I immediately asked her how pathetic they were, since I imagined men in white oxford shirts with pocket protectors and briefcases with nothing but a pen and post-its in them whining about how potential employers (and girls) don't recognize how valuable they are. Like a 12-step program for those who are overeducated and underemployed.<br /><br />Then I related this to my final work for grad school - which is an exploration of why the Supreme Court thinks that people who take care of people aren't worthy of basic employment protection like, oh I dunno, a <span style="font-style: italic;">minimum wage</span>. The people who keep disabled children safe and make sure elderly grandmothers have eaten once or twice today. That bathe and talk to and give medicine and, you know, <span style="font-style: italic;">care about </span>people who can't care for themselves. So if I can type 75 words a minute, what does that make me worth? How do we create a measurement of <span style="font-style: italic;">care</span>?<br /><br />But 75 WPM is good, isnt' it?Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-57320300700287439282010-01-28T21:27:00.002-05:002010-01-28T21:52:35.608-05:00Mean GirlsWe've been trying to make sense of this story from South Hadley of a 15 year old Irish girl hanging herself after being tormented by the gaggle of mean girls in her school.<br /><br />She decided that death was better than living through that.<br /><br />Really, I don't know what she decided and wouldn't presume to. <br /><br />Still, watching the country change - seeing the republican party in all of their smarminess - "it's all about me" culture emerge. Greed, power, selfishness.<br /><br />What would Howard Zinn be trying to teach us? <br /><br />I know that when things get rough, we all start protecting our turf. But the "real housewives of orange county" are just the South Hadley mean girls in middle age. All Botoxed. And we watch (actually, I don't watch - it's the commercials during the West Wing reruns on Bravo). And we watch. And affirm. And approve. And support. And compensate - greatly. <br /><br />Grad school has taught me brainy stuff, like economic theory, that talks about "externalities' which are those things that are not captured in the price of something. So if we consider that creating a show, like "stupid women with botox and no brains who like chaos" it means that Bravo paid stupid women to participate, expecting that the network would generate revenue from people watching, but the externality is what other consequences are that won't be reflected in the financial transaction. What about the impression given to 11-year-olds who think this is the way to act? Or the 11-year-olds who are the victims of their meanness?<br /><br />I'm not into censorship - don't get the wrong impression - I just get disappointed in what we value. Mothers might consider sitting with their daughters and using these crappy shows as examples of <span style="font-style: italic;">how not to act</span>. And embrace opportunities to step in when people are being mean to other people. We've all been the kid who is different - because we wore the wrong jeans or were the wrong size or whose parents drove the wrong car. Or dated the geeky guy because we liked his poetry or because he was <span style="font-style: italic;">too nice </span>for the Mean Girls. The geeky guys sometimes turn out to be wonderful husbands and fathers.<br /><br />There's no making sense of the Mean Girls. We just have to insist that they're<span style="font-style: italic;"> not cool.</span><br /><br />They're not cool. <br />They're mean. And need to understand the consequences.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-41771643351598901882010-01-27T22:22:00.003-05:002010-01-27T22:29:55.199-05:00State of the UnionO.k.- since we last spoke:<br /><br />I remain unemployed.<br />Jeff is unemployed - no - employed - no, part-time - no, definitely unemployed - no, safe after all.<br />Raytheon sucks - see above.<br />Massachusetts filled Ted Kennedy's seat with a republican.<br />Massachusetts Democratic party sucks - see above.<br />I picked a topic for the most important project I will ever do in my graduate school life.<br />I changed my topic.<br />I had a great meeting with a professor to focus the topic.<br />I had a meeting just after that meeting with a professor I respect who beat up my topic.<br />Beloved former boss called with a job offer.<br />Job offer likely to be rescinded on a technicality.<br />Howard Zinn died.<br />I want to change my topic in honor of Howard Zinn.<br /><br />The President thinks I should remain hopeful...Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-47903671004328466602009-12-14T14:47:00.001-05:002009-12-14T14:55:01.313-05:00No Fair!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_X4gT6FFhiy0/SyaX8YEcQxI/AAAAAAAAABo/GEeW80uIZHc/s1600-h/DSC_0103.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_X4gT6FFhiy0/SyaX8YEcQxI/AAAAAAAAABo/GEeW80uIZHc/s320/DSC_0103.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415182665468625682" border="0" /></a><br />This is Cassidy telling me that the next time I run off to have fun at the Cape for the weekend, I better bring her, too.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-40487220551803387712009-12-10T20:10:00.003-05:002009-12-10T20:22:25.552-05:00LifeboatsSo this is the last week of classes, before final exam week. This means that all of my beloved classmates have the deer-in-the-headlight look, aren't sleeping enough and are displaying signs of mood disorders.<br /><br />It's really wonderful.<br /><br />We're all just barely above the water - we all have final projects, which means final standing up in front of the class and discussing our brilliant thoughts about important things. The problem is that the people in the class are really smart - and will ask questions and have opinions that they will share. Outloud.<br /><br />But this feeling of solidarity - we're all in this together spirit - is just so wonderful. I've had a number of misty-eyed moments this week, as people are checking in, cheerleading, offering salty-sweet-fatty snacks and diet coke's. There've been hugs, motivating comments on facebook walls, late night chats and e-mail check-ins. We're meeting on campus, working quietly in rooms together - just to share the experience with the only others who get it.<br /><br />I didn't have the opportunity to go away to college just after high school -I'm a forty-something grad student having the college experience for the first time and, painful as it is, loving every moment. I'm doing my best to savor all of it - good and bad - and knowing that it will end far too soon. I'm tired, elated, near tears, sore, intimidated, confident, scared and feeling very, very blessed.<br /><br />And I know a lot of stuff. Ask me anything.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-81541742979384917962009-12-02T20:39:00.003-05:002009-12-02T21:00:32.484-05:00TransgressionsWow - Tiger.<br /><br />I don't know why this train wreck keeps my attention, but there it is. <br /><br />What is it about folks that maintain this outward image, but then act in ways contrary to what they want people to believe?<br /><br />Good thing I'm not like that.<br /><br />Well, I suppose if I was being perfectly honest, I would admit that when I appear very confident and know I am completely correct, I don't really believe it 100%. Or when I seem angry it's really that I'm afraid or unsure or lost. Or when I shrug and say that's o.k., I really want to say it's not, but don't want to hurt someone's feelings. But even with all that stuff, I can still look at myself in the mirror most days.<br /><br />Tiger has more talent than most people could ever wish for, and has done a great deal of good with his incredible wealth. He's also hurt and disappointed more people that most of us could ever come close to and no amount of talent or money can make that o.k. His kids will, before too long, be old enough to look up all this junk on the internet and find out this stuff about their father. He can't take that back.<br /><br />So I guess I want to remember that sometimes there are things we can do or say that we can never take back. Some of those things are no big deal, but others are huge. I'm reminding myself to make sure the things I say or do that I can't take back are things I'm proud of or things that make others know they're loved or safe or special.<br /><br />I'm working on it anyway.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-78850634697931703112009-11-27T08:20:00.002-05:002009-11-27T08:37:28.509-05:00It's Not About The Stuffing?So Jeff, who is a serious history geek, was explaining to me yesterday that the Pilgrims and Indians sitting down for dinner together on the first Thanksgiving was really all about the fact that the one Indian tribe was about to be overrun by another tribe and the first tribe pretended to want to be friends with the Pilgrims because the Pilgrims had guns. <br /><br />I promised not to be cynical about Thanksgiving yesterday, but seriously, how can we celebrate something like that? With pie and stuffing?<br /><br />Still, it made me think about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interdependence">interdependence</a> and how much I like it. <br /><br />I have a friend at school who is from Indonesia and isn't very good at English, but a whiz with math, so we've built what I hope will be a lifelong friendship based on him getting me through graduate-level microeconomics class, and me telling him when his grammar is wrong. And we just learned that last year after the ice storm in the Berkshires, when we bailed and went to the Cape to wait a week for the power to come on, a neighbor with a front-loader (which is some kind of big construction vehicle) moved a great big tree from the middle of our driveway for us. And if the cats catch mice in our cellar, I have Jeff who will remove the mouse remains for me, since I can't bring myself to deal with it. In return, I show him love and gratitude.<br /><br />So I think the Indians might have just gone ahead and told the Pilgrims that they needed to borrow a cup of gunpowder, and maybe the Pilgrims didn't need to steal the Indian's corn - and I'm really sorry about the smallpox in the blankets. Let's just acknowledge that we need one another and do our best to be trustworthy about it, o.k.? That's something worth giving thanks for.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-32653289764042440272009-11-15T21:17:00.003-05:002009-11-15T21:32:58.424-05:00Permission<a href="http://www.trouttowers.blogspot.com">Susan</a> just wrote a post on her blog that is kinda un-Susan-like, but also very Susan-like in that it was honest and a little raw and tender. It gave me permission to let myself be... whatever I am right now.<br /><br />Things are a bit itchy these days. It's nice to be not working and making a giant leap towards my Master's degree, but scary because I'm not working and not ready for this giant leap. If I commit to trying to graduate in May, I've got a ton of work to do - research and stuff - that I wasn't ready for just yet. And I don't like not working. Not just because I'm not making money (although I like money) but I have for so long wrapped up my identity in what I do for a living, that I'm a bit lost.<br /><br />This has all made things a bit strained in the household...<br /><br />When other people express their opinion of my situation, I'm uncomfortable, whatever the opinion is. School friends have been incredibly supportive and tell me how wonderful this all is - a gift I've been given to just be able to be a student for a while. Others tell me how sorry they are that this horrible thing has happened and ask if I'm o.k. Either way, I don't want to hear it. Should I be grieving or celebrating? I just can't make the suit fit. <br /><br />I find myself just reaching for the wisdom that comes from living the life I've lived (actually we've lived, Jeff and I) - that things we didn't plan for happen, sometimes the result of mistakes or just circumstance - but every time we've had to work through something hard, we've come out better on the other side. I'm learning to trust that now.<br /><br />It all really works out the way it's supposed to. I'm choosing to make peace with it. At least for now.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-82882890362434128582009-11-10T12:26:00.002-05:002009-11-10T12:43:30.254-05:00Bi-CoastalArrived home in the Berkshires yesterday after a beautifully warm weekend on the Cape. When you get those in November, you have to pay full attention, right? <br /><br />Our life has been a bit tumultuous of late and, I was feeling all "the world should have bigger things to do than mess with me" when we went for a walk on Coast Guard beach on Sunday. There was a part of the shore that got our particular attention - this inlet (nope - not up on my shore words or anything...) close to Nauset Marsh where the waves come in from two different directions and sometimes the ones on the left take over the ones on the right, sometimes the other way around. But I caught sight of a few that seemed to join together in the middle and created one peaceful, harmonious wave that rode into the land as one. In my particular frame of mind, I thought how powerful it could be if people could figure out a way to do that. No one has to overpower the other, no one needs to win - just blend the energy and resources to make one special thing. Pretty profound, huh?<br /><br />Then on the way out of town Monday morning, I made our ritual stop at Dunkin' Donuts in Harwich for a coffee for the road. When I got inside, there were three people behind the counter all admiring a baby (maybe a year old, just a little less) sitting on the counter and who the counter people presented with a chocolate munchkin. All of us - those working, standing in line, mother, celebrated with the baby and her joy over this munchkin - we clapped and smiled and cheered her good fortune. I love what a small town the Cape is in November, and chance to see just a moment of simple happiness was a bright spot in the day. <br /><br />Back to the leaf-covered back yard and didn't mind a bit raking and appreciating the gift of a near-70 degree weather to put the yard to bed for the winter.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-20747719920627851262009-10-18T18:46:00.002-04:002009-10-18T18:52:56.933-04:00Power to the Slicker People!So it was a cold and soggy <a href="http://www.wellfleetoysterfest.org">Oysterfest</a>, but what a resilient bunch we were! If the<a href="http://www.incrediblecasuals.com"> Casuals </a>had the decency to come out and play, the least we could do was dance in the rain. And while I was mostly appropriately dressed, I am not, in fact, a fisherman so I was not one of the folks <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> appropriately dressed in rain slickers, nor did I fall onto the pavement and wriggle in excitement and joy of Oysterfest and the Casuals.<br /><br />And Jeff ate his first Oyster (which was shucked by one of the finalists in the Oyster Shucking Contest) and it didn't come back up! <br /><br />All in all, a successful day.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-44546934696970500202009-10-12T17:08:00.003-04:002009-10-12T17:19:17.980-04:00Note To The UniverseThat's it - we've had it. Job loss, my car repair, Jeff's car repair (for the third time), can't get my paper written. Now the house (almost) blew up. Where does it all end?<br /><br />By the end of last week, we were still able to chuckle - appreciating the life lessons that come from adversity and all. Of course when things go bad, they always get worse! Hahahahahah - yep, really funny. But when Jeff got home today just in time to meet the electrician (who, BTW, returned our call on a Sunday!) AND THE CIRCUIT BREAKER BOX CAUGHT FIRE, I stopped laughing. Jeff, to his credit, was laughing uproariously as he told me how exciting it all was. Fortunately I stayed a little longer on the Cape and have missed all the fun.<br /><br />So, Universe, enough already. We're making the most of all the adversity, but we have limits. You could send us a little something good, just to keep us hopeful, o.k.? A little lottery windfall or some brilliant inspiration for my paper that I can't get written - we're not greedy. Just a little something good, couldja?<br /><br />We'd appreciate it very much.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-79848597963022925122009-10-06T20:15:00.002-04:002009-10-06T20:23:43.711-04:00GratitudeSo I admit I've spent just a little bit of time feeling sorry for myself in the last couple of weeks - having my job "eliminated" actually means I was "eliminated" and that's a little hard on the ego.<br /><br />Until today, when I spent some time with a classmate, who has become a dear friend, from Indonesia. He lives in Padang, right where the earthquake happened. Frans is a lovely man who I expect will be a delegate to the United Nations or win the Nobel Prize or something as soon as he finishes his degree and goes back home. It's really difficult for him to be here and he is trying study while he knows that his neighborhood has been reduced to rubble and his friends and neighbors are missing. Kinda puts things in perspective doesn't it?<br /><br />I was going to say more, but I think that's enough for now.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-62542235444199355362009-10-05T20:07:00.003-04:002009-10-05T20:32:38.080-04:00Where Have I Been?O.K. - so remember back in May when I expressed lofty goals like keeping up my blog and becoming a poet? Once again, I set myself up for failure. Not that I haven't had anything to do, mind you ~ there have really been quite a lot of events leading up to today.<br /><br />Let's see - June was o.k. except I got a new boss that was completely without integrity, talked about his wife while showing his girlfriend around the office and it took much too long, months even, for the powers that be to realize he probably wasn't a good hire. Ultimately he was fired, but not without a great deal of heartache inflicted on everyone.<br /><br />Which brings us to July, when I got to get back to my beloved Cape refuge, then got Lyme Disease (but found a really nice doctor in Harwich who took good care of me). Here are the lessons from that experience: I hit my drives high and right with a fever; it's still fun seeing <a href="http://www.chandlertravis.com">Chandler</a>, especially outdoors at <a href="http://www.thejuicerestaurant.com">The Juice</a>; lobster egg rolls at The Juice still taste wonderful, even when the antibiotic make you nauseous, as long as you have enough wine with them; the new Harry Potter movie wasn't that good at the <a href="http://www.wellfleetdrivein.com">drive-in</a> (or maybe it was the antibiotic and the fever and too much Advil); you shouldn't come home from vacation with Lyme Disease and then think it's a good idea to install ceramic tile in the bathroom (or even select tile at Home Depot), even though we're really happy with the floor; going back to work while on antibiotics makes me really super nauseous.<br /><br />August relatively uneventful, except for Jeff who took kayak lessons and won his division in <a href="http://worthingtongolfclub.com">club championship</a>. He's an overachiever.<br /><br />Then September, when <a href="http://masspolicy.org">school</a> started up again, my job got eliminated (but I got severance), I added classes two weeks into the semester and still haven't caught up and, right up until today in October, my ass is getting kicked by professors that I really respect. On the upside, <a href="http://www.chandlertravis.com">the Casuals </a>have been held over at <a href="http://www.woodyseastham.com">Woody's</a> and are playing Oysterfest, the leaves are starting to look beautiful up here in the Berkshires and I have enough time in my schedule to act like a real grad student.<br /><br />How have you been?Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-67312717455676807842009-05-23T11:31:00.002-04:002009-05-23T11:41:00.461-04:00Summer's Here!Yay! Opening weekend at the <a href="http://www.thebeachcomber.com/">Beachcomer</a>! Got sand in my toes! So inspired (and keeping my commitment to be artistic this summer) that I've written my first poem. It's a Haiku. Here goes:<br /><br />Beachcomber Opens<br />All who dance are not locals<br />Big toe is wounded<br /><br />Also have a sunburn, found a great oyster shell on the beach, had my first hot dog at Cobies and a yummy sandwich, wine, olives and watched <a href="http://www.chandlertravis.com">Chandler</a> work the room at Harvest Gallery. I've been hugged, kissed, stepped on, spilled upon, smiled at and took two naps. <a href="http://valetconfidential.blogspot.com">Fred</a>'s home improvement is quite something. Thank goodness it's cold and rainy today so I can rest up for the first <a href="http://incrediblecasuals.com">Casuals</a> show of the season. <br /><br />I love it here.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-26515321592681064542009-05-11T18:42:00.003-04:002009-05-11T19:54:29.555-04:00Where Have I Been?To all (both) of you who have been checking in and finding I've not blogged in ages, all I have to say is this:<br /><br />You're welcome.<br /><br />If I had been blogging over the last weeks, you would have been subjected to my needy, whiny noises about how much homework I have and how stupid it was to go to grad school and how tired I am. You would have felt obligated to tell me how cool you think I am and how impressed you are by my commitment. It would have been exhausting for all of us.<br /><br />All that is over now - it's officially the end of the semester and I don't have anything to do that isn't fun. Even yardwork and housework and my dopey job will all be joyful opportunities. Not to mention I'll be heading for the Cape any second now, where I'll do more fun things. Don't get me wrong, I'll still milk the grad school sympathy thing for all it's worth - I won't really do yardwork and will get Jeff to buy me a present. Fred will make me a cocktail on the patio. But heck, I deserve it.<br /><br />Really - I have to give Jeff and break and help out with the laundry for a change. He deserves all the credit for propping me up these last weeks. I'll do my best to make it up to him.<br /><br />The other goals for the summer break: I will write a poem, take some pictures, try out a new recipe and take 4 (maybe 3) shots off my handicap. There it is, I put it in writing!<br /><br />So summer begins...Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-58767573273014595602009-04-23T18:08:00.002-04:002009-04-23T18:13:10.258-04:00To Paraphrase Terry Adams...There's nothing wrong with Texas, it's the <span style="font-style: italic;">people</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCLz7XQOIOQ">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCLz7XQOIOQ<br /></a>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-35276902025463815112009-04-16T20:17:00.002-04:002009-04-16T20:30:53.878-04:00AbandonedJeff left me.<br /><br />Not like that - he just abandoned me for a few days. He's on lovely Cape Cod playing golf with his friend and having dinner at Mahoney's. He's having the chicken, which is a complete waste of going to Mahoney's, but he's seafood-averse. I'm not at Mahoney's - or Cape Cod. I'm just here - with the cats. They're happy because they can sleep on the bed and have all of my attention. They think Jeff doesn't like them and they are happy when he goes away. Me - not so much.<br /><br />I'm just not good a looking after myself. I get bored and don't eat enough vegetables and don't stay focused on my homework. I wake up during the night and I'll probably have popcorn for breakfast tomorrow. You would think with no Jeff to distract me all my homework would be done, and the laundry and the yardwork. Nope - none of that. It's like I'm just waiting for him to get back so I can do all that stuff and not pay attention to him. I make no sense whatsoever.<br /><br />I did get to cook stinky seafood for supper, though. That was nice. But that's about it.<br /><br />Maybe he'll read this and miss me, too and bring me a present when he comes home. Like a seashell. Or jewelry. Or a cranberry scone from the Cottage Street Bakery. Or a bottle of wine from the Truro Vineyards. Or Fred will get him to go shopping before he comes home and he'll find a nifty piece of art. (O.k. - no way will Fred get Jeff to go shopping, but it was worth a try).<br /><br />Anyway - I'll try to be good and stay out of trouble for the next couple of days. Wish me luck.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-79208324010146505912009-03-29T19:24:00.003-04:002009-03-29T19:37:02.943-04:00The Power of NothingSo we took Saturday night off. Of everything. We didn't cook food or do laundry or homework. We had an early dinner at a restaurant and came home plunked ourselves on the couch for the night. <a href="http://berkshiremountainsgolf.blogspot.com">Jeff </a>got me 2 seasons of the West Wing that I didn't already have for my birthday and we watched a half dozen episodes, with popcorn and everything.<br /><br />I know - doesn't sound blogworthy - but for us it seems we never take that kind of time and I'm here to tell you, it's totally worth it. Totally. Today I'm refreshed, relaxed and feel like I had a really nice date last night (which I did). I tackled a school project with a clear head and focused direction.<br /><br />So since I'm a student of public policy, I'm trying to quantify the benefits of last night so we can incorporate these opportunities into the federal or state budgets. Pass a law requiring downtime. Mandatory minimums on fun. Once-monthly pajama days. National Election-and-Nap holidays, so you go to vote only after you're well-rested and capable of reasoned reflection (super Tuesday would be so much more mellow).<br /><br />I think I just identified my master's thesis topic.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-72404672490790389922009-03-17T16:44:00.003-04:002009-03-17T18:02:11.389-04:00SymbolismLast night I went searching through my jewelry box to find appropriate Irish stuff to wear for St. Patrick's Day. What I ended up finding was a bit of my history and fond memories. <br /><br />First I came across a pin that is made from marble from Connemara that my former work-friend Elizabeth got for me in Ireland about 14 years ago. I asked her to find something made from Connemara marble because my mother used to have a shamrock pin but it was stolen when our house was broken into and I'd hoped to find something just like it. So it was nice to remember that pin, and my mother, and Elizabeth, and my Auntie Dot and Auntie Kay who brought the shamrock pin home from Ireland for my mom.<br /><br />Then there is the gold <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celtic_knot">celtic knot</a> ring I bought in Ireland when Jeff took me there for our 10th anniversary. It was in impulse buy at Shannon airport on our way out of the country and I was remembering how much I loved that trip and especially seeing so many people in the airport who looked familiar - like family. It was in the jewelry box next to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claddagh">Claddagh </a>ring I had bought for Jeff (that he <span style="font-style: italic;">never</span> wore - that's another blog) when we were dating and I was pretty sure I had fallen in love and wanted him to know it.<br /><br />Then there is the lovely silver celtic knot pendant that Roland and Amanda gave me for Christmas last year - we'd been to Ireland a second time by then and I think they knew how much I would appreciate the necklace - and I do - and think of them when I wear it.<br /><br />So on this St. Patrick's Day I'm humming songs my mother sang and remembering my friends and family long gone. And my old Irish wish for you:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">May your home always be too small to hold all your friends</span>.<br /><div style="text-align: left; font-style: italic;"><br />Erin go Bragh<br /></div></div>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-29425235736868636772009-03-08T13:51:00.003-04:002009-03-08T14:05:30.571-04:00Facebooked Part IISo now it's become a really goofy obsession - I've been transported back to high school and am again experiencing the angst of not being in the cool group and worrying about getting a date to the prom. I was sharing with friends at work how dumb this whole facebook thing is and the very next morning, got invitations from both of them to be facebook-friends. Now, since I'm up to 3 friends and thoroughly sucked in, I'm starting to seek more friends, lest those three think they're the only friends I have and start feeling sorry for me. So I invited someone to be a friend - and he agreed - so now the count is up to 4. I'm on a roll.<br /><br />Of course I have to bring this nonsense with me to the hairdressers yesterday and while the adorable 20-year old is cutting my hair, I asked her, since she's 20 and not 40-something, about the whole protocol and if I had, say 5 friends, but they were really good-quality friends, can that count as being just as good as, like 130 "facebook friends" who are mostly just acquaintances that everyone piles up just to look like they have lots of "real friends." She assured me that I would appear just as cool with my few quality friends, so I'm backing off of the desperate begging for friends that I was considering. She also thought me very wise when I asked about the whole having-facebook-blog-monologues-instead-of-in-person-conversations and told me that she'd gotten into a disagreement with her friend but didn't know it until her friend wrote on her wall about it and now everyone knows about it. But no one's talking to each other about it. <br /><br />Am I overthinking this?<br /><br />What I think really needs to happen is for the snow to melt up here in the Berkshires and we can all go outside and play. Then blog about it...Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2227291024611053901.post-83563753062791855872009-02-24T16:46:00.006-05:002009-02-24T16:55:03.963-05:00Facebooked<span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;" ><span target="_blank"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style=";font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;" ><span target="_blank"><span style="font-family: georgia;">So I got an e-mail from a dear friend the other day inviting me to look at her Facebook page. I have no interest in Facebook whatsoever and have been listening all week to the news reports about people surrendering all their rights, plus their firstborn children, when they decide to join Facebook. So when I got this e-mail, I was faced with the dilemma of just blowing off my friend or signing over all future royalties in order to join.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span target="_blank"><o:p></o:p>So I joined.<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span target="_blank"><o:p></o:p>But here’s the thing. Now I can look and see what people are up to, see if they’re online at the same time I am and communicate electronically with them or just peek at their pictures. These are typically people I don’t make the time to call or visit with already. Now I have another vehicle to not have direct contact with them. I’m not feeling good about this. It’s bad enough that I have a blog and just say things at people without actually having a dialogue. Now we can have entire relationships without actually having relationships. And – here’s the added stress I don’t need: what if I don’t add friends – then it looks like I don’t have any friends. Or what if I just start adding people to make it look like I have friends, but really they’re not my friends – just acquaintances. Am I leading them on? What if I don’t like them <i><span style="font-style: italic;" target="_blank">that way</span></i>… Or what if no one comes to my funeral, but lots of people sign the online guest book…<o:p></o:p></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="font-family:georgia;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span target="_blank"><o:p></o:p></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span target="_blank">I’m going to call my friend. Or maybe just send her a link to my blog and she can read what I think.</span></span></p>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07591207328994809833noreply@blogger.com0